So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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