i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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