I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
