I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
