I want to stick my p in your. b.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
