So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
