i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
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