ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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