I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
