I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
