I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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