Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
