and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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