Tell her she can't have a vagina
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
