Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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