What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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