she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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