i'm signing you up for texting rehab
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
