I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
