we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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