Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
