is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
