iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
