I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
