I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
