Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
