There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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