Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
