we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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