what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
