If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
