i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
