ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
