This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
