I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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