Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
