I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
