I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
In America we eat man semen.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
