someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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