Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
