His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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