where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
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