i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
