Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
