Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
