When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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