I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
