Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
