Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
