I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
