Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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