Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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