If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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