think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
