She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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