I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
