if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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