yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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